It’s day one of summer. Verdant Summer, as the game calls it, which sounds like something ChatGPT would write. I decide it’s time to see more of the city and less of the damn amusement park. We hop on a bus.
The problem with the city map is that I don’t know what’s at the end of each route. There are no fewer than 15 bus stops all over town, but I don’t know what’s worth seeing in each neighborhood. I guess I’ll just visit bus stop after bus stop until I get to know Bliss Bay by heart. I’m hoping to find an arcade closer to home than the amusement park, as well as a café and maybe somewhere to shop. I don’t know if any of these things exist, but it’s worth checking. If I have to be cooped up at home waiting for a grocery delivery, then I at least want my Zoi out having fun in the sun.
I also find a fish in her backpack. 23 hours until spoilage. I delete it. And I don’t ask any clarifying questions.
Koni runs off to Liberty Square for an event before I can stop her. Actually, the game gave me a chance to cancel, but I confused “X” with “cancel plans,” and now I guess I’m committed. It’s okay, though, because there’s a food cart (Koni loves street food) and arcade machines. There’s also a selfie spot by the fountain, which I love because it’ll make for a great feature image for this post. Whilst I’m out, I figure I might as well call Joanne Gentry over to hang out.
I ask Joanne Gentry what she does for work, if she is single and looking, what her values are, if she is at all single and looking, what traits she has, and whether or not she might be single and looking. She is single and looking! But she’s also straight, which is so queer chic I want to scream. I decide we’ll be besties and maybe even roommates one day. I don’t think the game has gay marriage yet—it’s coming in a later update. But “roommates” works, too. Maybe I can even lick the envelope of the letters she sends me for a taste of her left behind.
I start planning my life with her as platonic roommates, thinking about going back to school, and maybe even attending my third full day at work.
And then… it happens. Father Time suffocates me with his beard of inevitability: Koni ages up. What the hell? I guess I blinked and missed Young Adulthood somehow. A few arcade visits, two amusement park shifts, and 1.5 friends made, and I’m…old, I guess.
Koni is now an Adult™ and it’s time to start getting serious! The household is feeling kind of empty, and I’m not actually sure what the platonic roommate life path looks like in this game that won’t even let me gay-date the woman of my dreams. So instead, I opt to date and marry the first half-tolerable straight man I come across. His name is Jihu Ji, and we meet at the amusement park.
It must be fate! I cut to the chase and ask him about his values, relationship status, and career. He is unemployed. Great—we love a project. He is also single and ready to mingle. So ready, in fact, that we are “official” the very same day. That’s right: I skip the morning half of my amusement park job, and we go on a date to Liberty Park. There, we sit on a bench and talk until we’re in love. We have our first flirt, our first confession, our first kiss. He is pretty underwhelming, all things considered (no Joanne Gentry, that’s for sure), but Koni is a “love who loves you” kinda gal in her old age, so we stay in touch by text, and the very next day I propose in some weird hotel lounge he takes Koni to.
The wedding also takes place during an amusement park shift, so I guess I’m breaking up with the park in favor of Jihu. The wedding is hosted at “Outdoor Wedding Venue.” Love it. Keep it simple, and all that. There are chairs, an aisle, coffee trays, and a refrigerator I can’t access, just sitting on the lawn.
I rotate through the wedding actions checklist (walk down the aisle, exchange rings, read letters to one another) until Koni and Jihu are so hungry they sprint to a vending machine for a snack. Who has ever heard of a wedding without food? I can only imagine this is my fault somehow, as the player, but I don’t really care. I spend my time telling Jessica P that we are now Confidants and mingling with Bench Man and someone’s Grandma.
Oh! Joanne Gentry is at our wedding, too. I’d like to imagine she is at least a little bit jealous.
< Chapter 2 | Chapter 4 (coming soon) >
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